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Safety Issues

Safety Concerns​

While much misinformation exists about anal sex, the most dangerous rumors are those concerning its safety. This chapter aims to clarify this misinformation so that you can safely engage in anal play. The following is some very important information about safety. You are strongly advised to read all of this chapter carefully.

Anal Sex Should Not Be Painful: For some reason, the internet says, "a little pain is okay, you'll get used to it," but this is wrong. You should not feel any pain during anal sex. In the following chapters, you will find information on how fragile your rectum and other parts involved in anal sex are. Pain is a definite sign that something is wrong and you need to stop. If you suddenly feel sharp pain, it's a sign that you need to stop immediately, without hesitation. If not done correctly, anal sex can be very dangerous, so you need to make sure you listen to your body. Your rectum and colon do not have many nerve endings, which means you are unlikely to feel pain when you get injured.

Any Amount of Bleeding Is Not Normal: There is another strange rumor on the internet that you have an "anal hymen" and that it's normal to bleed the first time, but anatomically, this is extremely dangerous and wrong. There is no "anal hymen" in anal sex, and any amount of blood is unacceptable. Because your rectum and colon are very fragile, the tissues of the rectum and colon can easily tear, so bleeding is a direct sign that you are injured (even if you don't feel pain because these areas don't have many nerve endings). Red blood means stop, without hesitation. Depending on the amount and color of the blood, you may even need to seek immediate medical help from a doctor.

Discomfort Is Not Normal: If you feel discomfort, it means there's a problem. Anal sex should be pleasurable, and discomfort indicates a problem with your posture, angle, lube, warm-up, material, relaxation, or other aspects. One of the most common complaints during anal sex is the urge to defecate, but even this urge should not exist, which indicates that you need to reconsider your preparation before anal sex. Discomfort is another signal from your body that you need to stop whatever you are doing. A common misconception is that discomfort will go away after a while, but getting used to the feeling is wrong. It's better to be prepared and eliminate discomfort from the very beginning.

Don't Force It: When using various toys for anal play, it's tempting to forcefully push yourself onto the toy, but this is very dangerous. For most people, the anal muscles will limit the size of the toy/penis they can insert (for more advanced people, the limit may be the rectum or even the colon), but you must remember that your anus is a muscle, and it's easy to damage it with a muscle tear. Anal sex should be seen as "anal yoga," where you learn to relax your muscles instead of forcing your way in. Leave the workout mentality at the gym and don't bring it to anal sex. This also applies to anal sex with a penis (or even a finger). The penis should slide in with very little force, otherwise, you're doing it wrong.

Saliva is Not a Substitute for Lube: In fact, your anus and rectum are very dry and not suitable for anal sex at all. In fact, your saliva contains enzymes that naturally break down fats, which means your saliva will make the area even drier (for example, your lips will become more chapped the more you lick them). Do not skip the lube part. You need a lot of lube and even need to reapply it regularly. Without lube, you increase the risk of tiny tears in the rectum and even the colon, not to mention the discomfort for you and your partner. With lube, anal sex will also be more pleasurable.

You Can't Go from the Anus to the Vagina: Your rectum has a specific microbiome that contains various bacteria suitable for defecation, and the vagina can easily get infected by bacteria from the rectum. To prevent infection, it's best not to go from the anus to the vagina (you can go from the vagina to the anus, but not the other way around). Some people even take extreme measures to cover the vagina during anal sex to minimize the chance of infection. Similarly, it's not recommended to go from the anus to oral sex (from butt to mouth).

Do Not Insert a Toy Without a Tapered Base or a String: Many people find it very stimulating to fully insert various objects (e.g., balls) into the rectum, but this can be very dangerous. Your rectum can act like a vacuum and completely "suck" various toys inside. Since you are most likely relaxing various anal-related muscles, you will likely have a fairly straight path into the rectum. What happens next is that the toy will slide into the deeper rectosigmoid junction, which is likely straight enough for the toy to easily enter your colon. When you stop relaxing the anal-related muscles, you will re-create the sharp angle of the rectosigmoid junction, and your toy will be completely stuck inside, at which point you will need immediate medical attention. The best thing you can do is to always use a toy with a tapered base to prevent it from going in completely. If such an accident occurs, try to stay calm, as tension will cause your muscles to contract. Be careful, a toy can disappear (become unretrievable) in a very short amount of time.

Do Not Use Random Objects as Sex Toys: Your rectum and colon are very fragile. Random household objects may have sharp edges that you can't even feel with your fingers. The material of the object may also not be suitable for anal sex and may cause complications like infection. If it's absolutely necessary for you to use a household object as a sex toy, then at least consider putting a condom on it to reduce the chance of injury.

Do Not Use Anesthetics or Painkillers: Many people think they can eliminate discomfort by using anesthetics (such as lubes with an anesthetic effect), but this can be dangerous because you are preventing your body from signaling that something is wrong. You always need to listen to your body during anal sex. Anesthetics and painkillers will prevent you from feeling pain before you get seriously injured. It may be tempting to use anesthetic products to "speed up" the anal sex process, but it's not worth the risk, and it actually reduces the overall pleasure.

Do Not Combine Drugs with Anal Sex: Drugs come in many varieties, and each one works differently. Some drugs can increase sensory sensitivity, and some people comment that they get interesting sensations during anal sex. But some drugs can decrease the sensitivity of various senses (including alcohol), and the risks are similar to those of anesthetics and painkillers. Some drugs can even have the opposite effect and not relax muscles. For example, alcohol can even tighten the muscles involved in anal sex. Some people claim that alcohol is good for anal sex, but remember that alcohol has a sedative effect, which reduces your sensitivity to pain, and this is very dangerous. Another effect of drugs is that they distort rational thought processes, which can lead to dangerous decisions, such as an impulsive desire to fulfill extreme sexual fantasies. A very popular drug in the anal sex scene is "poppers," which has the effect of relaxing the anal sphincter. But because there have been reports of vision loss or heart problems from taking this drug, it is considered very dangerous. For obvious reasons, the use of any drugs during anal sex is not recommended. For your own safety, it's best to enjoy anal sex without any drugs. It's not worth the risk.

Do Not Pour Random Liquids into the Rectum: For some reason, some people decide to douche with alcohol, but this is a bad idea and can lead to death. When you pour alcohol into the rectum, it is absorbed very quickly by the body, and you become "drunk." The problem is that you underestimate the absorption efficiency of alcohol. It may be safe to only pour a small amount of alcohol diluted with water, but in general, for your own safety, it's not recommended to pour any non-water liquid.

Don't Be Impatient: This is a reminder to be patient, warm up properly, and be careful when trying new sizes. It is very important to take your time. Rushing will only make things worse.

Just like with vaginal sex, anal sex can transmit STIs. So, if you're not sure if your partner is healthy, it is highly recommended to use a condom. Another thing to remember is that your rectum has a microbiome with various bacteria that can infect the penis, so it's best to use a condom during anal sex regardless.

Unfortunately, many people do not take the safety of anal sex seriously enough, which has led to many people getting injured, and some even ending up in the hospital. It may be very embarrassing to see a doctor because of a sexual act, but remember that severe pain and bleeding can indicate damage to internal organs, which in most cases is fatal. If you move, a foreign object in your colon can easily cause damage to internal organs. If you get injured, do not hesitate to go to the doctor; you must go!

Important Note: The categories of "when to seek medical attention" are quite vague. As stated at the beginning of this guide, this is not a medical document, so do not rely too much on this advice, but always remember their warnings. As said before, doing (or not doing) anything is at your own risk.

  • If you find slight bleeding during anal sex and you only see a few small drops of blood, but the bleeding has stopped: In this case, it may be a small micro-tear in the upper tissue of your rectum, and it will most likely heal in a week or more. Forbid any anal sex during this week or more and check for the bleeding to recur after the wound has healed. If the bleeding does recur, then forbid anal sex for an even longer time. Consider changing your sex toy, your position, depth, lube, and other variables to prevent future injury.
  • If you feel severe pain during anal sex, but you've determined there is no bleeding: Severe pain indicates that you need to stop anal sex immediately and make sure you haven't started bleeding, as bleeding takes time. If there is no bleeding, it means you may (but not absolutely) not need immediate medical attention, but you can't be sure. You may need to see a doctor to ensure there is no permanent organ damage.
  • If you find dark red blood during anal sex (regardless of whether you feel pain): In this case, without a doubt, you need to seek immediate medical attention. Whatever injury you have is most likely a fatal, life-threatening injury that needs to be seen right away.
  • If you cannot get a sex toy out (it's stuck): First, try to stay calm and do not make any sudden movements. It's possible that the object you inserted is not deep and you can gently squeeze the toy out by squatting and pushing as if you are defecating (do not apply too much pressure). If the object still won't come out, then unfortunately, you need to seek immediate medical attention (you can't wait until tomorrow because you may injure your colon in your sleep).

As shown above, in many cases, anal play can lead to a hospital visit. There is no doubt that anal sex can be dangerous, but it is safe enough for you and your partner to enjoy. This chapter may make it seem that the risks of anal sex are too great, but remember that many people have anal sex (some only have anal sex or live a "butt-only life"). You just need a little precaution and knowledge to prevent accidents. Continue reading to better understand the anatomy of the various organs involved in anal sex and how to prevent injury.